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"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -Aristotle

Posted 2 months ago (Jan 12, 2010)

Today was sort of a surreal day for me. Exactly one year ago today, I was sitting in the ambulatory surgery center at Weill-Cornell Medical Center waiting for an orchiectomy. This was after a whirlwind diagnosis between Christmas and New Year’s, where I went from having a little back pain to finding out I had cancer. And exactly one year ago today, I learned that the cancer had spread and I would need additional treatment.

I’m still trying to get my head around everything that happened. While it’s obviously had a permanent impact on my life, it is also very weird to think that this all happened within the past 12 months. Maybe it was just the way I’ve been dealing with it, but it feels like the distant past to me now.

What was perhaps even more surreal, however, was the fact – exactly one year later – I spent all morning at Weill-Cornell Medical Center going through nearly the same battery of tests. This year, the CAT scan and blood tests showed nothing and my appointment with Dr. Scherr was decidedly more positive. Of course, simply spending a few hours in the hospital – especially on the anniversary of such a fateful day – brings with it a wave and range of emotions that was difficult for me to fully comprehend. I have been simultaneously angry and grateful and nervous and relieved and relaxed and terrified today.

On the whole, I feel absolutely wonderful. I’m in better shape now than I have been in years – of course, working Equinox will help with that. There are still some lingering side effects from the surgery and chemotherapy - the most notable of which is neuropathy, which basically means occasional numbness and tingling in my feet and arms, cramping in my legs, and related complications – but overall I have very little to complain about.

I’ve talked a lot in the past about how adversity figures in and how this experience has made me a stronger person – but I decided I also want to be able to say that literally. After turning 30 and beating cancer, I decided a good goal was  to beat my personal bests in weightlifting. So, consider this my public commitment - by the end of this year, I will either do a single rep of 550 lbs or do 35 reps of 225 lbs. I’ve only started lifting heavy again in recent weeks, but I think this is something I can do… and I will literally be able to say I cam out of this thing stronger.

Filed under: Health | Cancer | Personal

Posted 5 months ago (Oct 29, 2009)

There's been a bit of a backlash recently - spawned primarily by Jason Calacanis' post - against angel groups that charge entrepreneurs relatively significant sums to pitch their ideas. As Jason puts it, this is an “injustice” and an “abuse of power” – that the poor, desperate entrepreneurs shouldn't be footing the bill for any expenses for the rich angels they are seeking money from. In principle, I think we can all agree with this.

Much of the focus here has been on exposing the bad behavior of these investors, but I think the problem is deeper than that. In other words: By paying to pitch, entrepreneurs are actually hurting their already slim chances of raising money.

More...

Posted 6 months ago (Sep 11, 2009)

8 years later – and on the eve of my 30th birthday – I figured I would once again repost what I first wrote here several years back. More...

Filed under: Personal

Posted 8 months ago (Jul 31, 2009)

I’m sure you’ve all heard the titular phrase, which contains all of the letters in the English alphabet and is often used to test typewriters or keyboards (or, these days, to showcase fonts).

Well, it really does happen.

(via Caroline)

Filed under: Friday Fun

Posted 8 months ago (Jul 23, 2009)

When I first installed Windows 7, the power management was not working properly and the screensaver would not kick in nor woo. After I forgot to manually turn off the monitors one night, Something was wrong with power management when I first installed Windows 7 and my monitors did not shut nor did the screensaver kick in. As a result of that first night, I noticed a terrible “ghosting” effect that resembled the burn in of a CRT.

Fortunately, it turns out that burn in (or, more accurately, image persistence) is not permanent with LCDs. Though it is said that letting the monitors “relax” for a few days will fix the issue, it didn’t go away for me. Another common solution, however, is to use a solid white image as a screensaver – this basically burns in a white image and eliminates the ghosted image that was there before.

Another approach to removing LCD image persistence is to first create a solid white image and display the image as a screensaver covering the entire display area for an extended period of time, which operates the pixels in a uniform ON state rather than an OFF state as with turning the display off.

One issue I ran into though is that all of photo screensavers didn’t quite work with multiple monitor setups. Rather, they would show the white image on the primary monitor and have the other screens blank. Though this wouldn’t cause new burn-in, it obviously wouldn’t fix the issue that I had on each of my three monitors.

However, I was able to use UltraMon to achieve this, using the default integrated screensaver and changing the background color to be white. (Speaking of which - even with the new keyboard shortcuts in Windows 7, UltraMon is essential for multi-monitor setups. A new version was just released with proper Windows 7 support as well).

image     image 

So, my monitors turn white after 2 minutes and then turn off after 30 minutes (based on the power settings). I’ve been running this for a day now and already I’ve noticed some of the ghosting is reduced. I’ll update this post again after a few more days to see how well it works.

Oh, and if you’re going to do this, it’s probably a good idea to reduce the brightness on your monitors so you don’t burn out the backlight bulb. Don’t make it a long-term thing either – once you’ve fixed the image persistence, you can go back to your previous settings.

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As a side note, if you’re having similar issues with power management in Vista or Windows 7, there’s a new command line utility that can help you troubleshoot the problem. In my case, I was easily able to identify a USB driver that was preventing the system from entering the suspend state, and the issue was fixed as soon as I updated that particular driver.

Posted 8 months ago (Jul 14, 2009)

Wow… this iPhone app from acrossair is just too cool (via The iPhone FAQ).

Instead of a static map, Nearest Tube displays subway information in real-time, overlaid in 3D on top of live video of the user's surroundings. Holding the iPhone 3GS horizontal will show arrows pointing to different train stops, and tilting the device upwards will overlay signs in the direction of different stops. These signs look like a heads-up-display, and give more information about how far away the station is and what lines connect there.

You really need to see this thing in action:

If you ask me, that’s much cooler than that app that’s been getting a lot of press about where to stand on the subway. (That’s something that is most useful during rush hour and most New Yorkers have figured that out already!).

Filed under: Technology | Apple | Gadgets

Posted 11 months ago (Apr 07, 2009)

It's now been a little more than a year since I left Goldman Sachs to work on Notches full-time. Initially, many of my family and friends talked about how impressed they were about me taking such a "risk". In fact, that's the thing that scares most people out of starting their own business – they just consider it too "risky" to be out there on their own.

I always said that what I'm doing really isn't all that risky, since I had just finished my law degree and leaving Goldman was an inevitability. The big question was whether I would try to follow the well-worn legal career path: join a law firm, bill a lot of hours and eventually make partner or try to become in-house counsel somewhere.

Ultimately, I wanted to forge my own path. I decided to start my own business because I felt it gave me an opportunity to put my technical, legal and business skills and creativity to work in a way that I could create value, in a way that was appreciated instead of marginalized. Building something of your own is certainly rewarding, but I think what really appealed to me were the possibilities.

In other words, there was no road map. There was no set path – entrepreneurship is, by definition, creating something new. It was these possibilities that I did not see at Goldman or in a legal career that really rang out to me.

As Reid Hoffman put it, in the current economy and job market, we're all entrepreneurs now – but that isn't always true especially within larger organizations.

Jim Collins (of Built to Last and Good to Great fame) made this point very well in a recent Inc. interview

How do you define entrepreneurship?

I take a broad view of it. The traditional definition -- founding an entity designed to make money -- is too narrow for me. I see entrepreneurship as more of a life concept. We all make choices about how we live our lives. You can take a paint-by-numbers approach, or you can start with a blank canvas. When you paint by numbers, the end result is guaranteed. You know what it's going to be, and it might be good, but it will never be a masterpiece. Starting with a blank canvas is the only way to get a masterpiece, but you could also blow up. So, are you going to pick the paint-by-numbers kit or the blank canvas?

It has to do with your ability to handle risk, no?

Not risk. Ambiguity. People confuse the two. My students used to come to me at Stanford and say, "I'd really like to do something on my own, but I'm just not ready to take that much risk. So I took the job with IBM." And I would say, "You're not ready for risk? What's the first thing you learn about investing? Never put all your eggs in one basket. You've just put all your eggs in one basket that is held by somebody else." As an entrepreneur, you know what the risks are. You see them. You understand them. You manage them. If you join someone else's company, you may not know those risks, and not because they don't exist. You just can't see them, and so you can't manage them. That's a much more exposed position than the entrepreneur faces. But there's lower ambiguity on the paint-by-numbers path: very clear but more risky. The entrepreneurial path: very ambiguous but less risk. Of course, the truth is that it's all ambiguous, anyway. If you think you can predict the future, you're crazy.

This distinction between ambiguity and risk is an important one. Starting a capital-efficient technical business wasn't really risky, in the sense the sense that I really stand to lose anything. Mostly, it comes down to opportunity cost and even there it's not clear I really lost anything. Though I do not collect a salary, we have adjusted our lifestyle accordingly, have a very low cost basis, and saved for this upfront. On one hand, I could have made, say, $150,000 if I joined a law firm in NYC as a first-year associate. On the other, I have gained experience and knowledge and had leadership opportunities I would have never had at a law firm or at Goldman. Ultimately, I have to believe that I will have even better opportunities available to me now that may be worth well-more I have opportunities available now that I never would have had last year.

Whether or not Notches is ultimately successful, it has certainly taught me that I'm happier when I follow an entrepreneurial path – not because of the risk but because of the ambiguity. I relish the ambiguity, because the ambiguity is what brings possibility.

Posted 12 months ago (Apr 03, 2009)

There's a really interesting article in the latest issue of Portfolio that suggests that the latest economic downturn wasn't an unpredictable black swan – but rather that we're using the wrong tools (and wrong people) to try to detect it.

A small but growing cadre of scientists are arguing that our current crisis was in fact predictable and that the technology exists to make sure that it won’t happen again. The problem may be that we’ve used only economists to try to solve our economic predicaments. Instead, the solution may be found by physicists and other scientists accustomed to studying complex systems.

To anticipate the next crisis and find our way out of this one, we may have to cast off economic and financial dogma and adopt ideas inspired by physics and other natural sciences, disciplines in which the notion of unstable and unpredictable systems is nothing new. For instance, the technology now exists to go beyond economics to build a massive, complete computer model of the modern economy, from the corner store to the city bank and the Federal Reserve.

With such a model, physicists would be able to track changes in the economy dynamically. There have even been calls for an ambitious effort akin to the Manhattan Project, which built the atomic bomb, to bring the most sophisticated mathematics and computer modeling to bear on managing the world’s economies more aggressively than has ever been attempted.

It's clear that our economic woes are in part because of increasingly complex and intertwined. Bailouts are necessary simply because the death of a single (even small) corporation (which is what I and most other "true capitalists" might prefer) can have a dramatic ripple effect on the rest of the ecosystem.

On that note, I can't think of a system more complex and intertwined than nature; it will be interesting to see how science can be applied to this other "unpredictable and complex" system.

Filed under: Business

Posted 12 months ago (Mar 27, 2009)

Filed under: Links

Posted 12 months ago (Mar 20, 2009)

A lot of people keep telling me they're amazed at how positive I've remained through this all.  Frankly, I'm not sure what other choice there is. Yeah, my body has taken a beating over the past two months between the surgery and chemo. When I say I'm feeling good these days, that means something a lot different than it did six months ago. I can look in the mirror and see the toll it is taking.

As taxing as it has been, at no point did I feel I couldn't get through it. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that bad – and certainly not compared to the alternatives.

In that sense, I've been thinking a lot about adversity. I think my ability to deal with this comes from playing sports. Sports, like life, are full of crushing defeats, victories (both small and glorious) and a lot of hard work (the "time and effort") in between. Having participated in sports from a very young age, I've learned that when you invest yourself in a positive way, things have a tendency to work out better in the end – even if they seem to suck while you're going through it. My body felt pretty banged up towards the end of a football or wrestling season, but I eventually bounced back, just like I know I'll bounce back at the end of this.

To quote Harold & Kumar, "the universe tends to unfold as it should". That's not to say that things will always work out as you planned, but ultimately I do believe that if you invest yourself fully and positively then things will work out in a good way. (Conversely, I think if you're not fully invested, then you should stop doing whatever you're doing because it's just a waste of time.)

There are similar parallels with building a business, and one reason I find being an entrepreneur so rewarding. The road is paved with ups and downs. It's easy to get discouraged when things don't progress as smoothly as you would have liked, but I believe that if you're approaching it in the right way you will a return on that investment. Of course, those returns can manifest themselves in different ways – and it doesn't mean my business will necessarily be successful – but it does mean I will have been better off for doing it.

Adversity isn't a bad thing – I see it as necessary to personal improvement. Just as you need to push yourself when working out to see gains, sometimes you need to test your character and resolve. Adversity builds character and makes us stronger.

Personally, I welcome the opportunity. Bring it on, cancer.

Cross-posted on Beating My Cancer

Posted about 1 years ago (Mar 08, 2009)

Filed under: Links

Posted about 1 years ago (Feb 28, 2009)

I am going to start posting a weekly digest of interesting links every Saturday morning.

Many of these are things I had intended on blogging about but just didn't have time. I thought about syndicating everything I tag on Delicious, but it doesn't necessarily fit into my workflow so I decided to manually post a cultivated list on a weekly basis.

General Business:

Startup:

Technical:

Enjoy – hope you find them useful.

Filed under: Links

Posted about 1 years ago (Feb 26, 2009)

Like Jason, I've always thought the billable hour was an antiquated system that needed to go (and in fact part of the reason I never considered going to BigLaw after graduation). It looks like the economy is finally starting to make law firms to rethink the billable hour.

As a technologist, I find the whole system appalling. It rewards inefficiency. There is absolutely no incentive to be productive – if you can bill an extra hour by printing and binding stuff (charging the printing and binding costs to the client of course) as opposed to reading it electronically, so be it. Think about it this way: if your gating factor is the number of hours you bill to a client, there is a disincentive to work faster. If you accomplish the work in half the time, there is no real benefit. Sure, you can take on a second client and bill them, but you can never increase your overall profits beyond what you can bill in a single day.

The billable hour has a fundamental scaling problem.

Contrast this to, say, investment banking, in which fees are calculated largely on a project basis and based on the size of the deal. During my time at Goldman, we spent a lot of time trying to make the bankers more efficient, because the more deals they could do the more money they could make.

The billable hour is especially scary to early stage companies who are likely on very light budgets. There was a recent nextNY thread about flat rate legal services, prompted by a flat fee schedule (pdf) offered by MasurLaw. (Personally I think the fees are on the high side for largely boilerplate, but at least it's a known quantity).

As Roman (who obviously offers flat rate billing as well) put it on the thread:

I believe that flat fees should and can be extended to most legal work and not just to early stage startups or initial documents. Many moons ago, before becoming an attorney, I ran a video production company and I recall how disheartening it was when our lawyers billed by the hour and how awful I felt knowing that when I called them the meter was running. So when I started my law practice flat rate billing and range billing were an integral part of my service commitment.

Hopefully, this is a trend that continues – the billable hour is a broken system that doesn't really work for anyone.

Filed under: Business | Law